Divorce sucks

Ugh.  I hate divorce.  Today, I found out that a couple who I thought was PERFECT together are not so much a couple anymore.  I swear, these two are like two peas in a pod!  They are at the bottom of the list of people I would picture calling it quits.  My heart breaks for them.  I don't think I have mentioned this on my blog, but I have been there....and it sucks big time.  Every time I hear of a marriage ending, it just breaks my heart and makes me think.

I won't get into too many details, but long story short, I married my high school sweetheart shortly after high school.  Looking back, that was probably not the smartest thing I have ever done.  :-(  My first hubby, we will call him AC (not AC Slater from Saved By The Bell!), is now a doctor.  He was in medical school when we got divorced.  Medical School is crazy stressful on the student and on the spouse.  It was SO hard because he was gone all of the time.  I mean ALL OF THE TIME.  AC studied at all hours of the day and the night and was at the school for ungodly amounts of hours.  I have speculated that not all of those hours were spent at school "studying,"  but thus, I have no proof, so I digress.  :-Q  Anyway, I went to work one Friday morning like every morning thinking "YEAH!!  It's Friday!!"  We had plans to go to a Husker football game the following day.  I got home from work around 2:30 and went down into the basement to fold some laundry.  I was sitting on the couch in our family room when he came home.  I thought it was strange that he was home so early, but I thought maybe he was surprising me and taking out for dinner or something.  Not so much.  I distinctly remember that I was folding a maroon towel (I still cringe when I fold laundry and there is a maroon towel) when he sat down on the opposite couch and said, "well, I just wanted to tell you that I want a divorce because I don't love you and I don't think I ever have."  WTH?  I think I was completely in shock because I continued folding the laundry.  What a nerd.  I finished folding the towels before I digested what he was saying.  The man I loved and devoted SO much to and gave up so much for just decided he didn't want to be married to me.  Hmmm.  Talk about getting hit with a ton of bricks.  Looking back, I think I saw warning signs, but I NEVER EVER dreamt it would end in divorce!  Our marriage was probably not the healthiest situation ever, but I never thought it would come to this.  I won't get into the personal problems, because I am past the point where I am angry with him.  I don't want to ruin his reputation or talk ill of him, because that really won't do anyone any good.
 




Bottom line is, that one sentence, "I want a divorce because I don't love you and I don't think I ever have loved you," changed my life more that I think I can even understand.  I think I am still a little bitter towards him because it has given me some serious trust issues.  Mostly when I think about our marriage ending, I am sad.  Not sad because I miss him or anything, but sad for the situation.  I am so happy with my hubby now and I can't even imagine not having him in my life.  He is definitely my rock and the love of my life.  That being said, I don't believe in soul mates.  I think there are certain people for certain times in your life and I am glad that my hubby is that certain person for the rest of my life.


Geez, how was that for a random and all over the place post?  Please keep my two friends in your prayers.